Operation Pettiness

They never show Cary Grant or Tony Curtis
with erections inside that pink submarine.

The girl with the big rack blocks the way,
and the old bag peers into the head.

The native witch doctor says in perfect English,
“They’ll never make it.”

Their wayward torpedo blows up a Jap truck
in a funny prelude to Nagasaki.

In the end, the Tiger Shark must be scuttled.
Today, Cary's dead, & an ancient Tony wears the toupee from hell.