Friends (and Enemies)

This is just to inform you that I will
not be reading any of your poetry,
be it in book form, magazines,
periodicals, journals, ebooks or
on the internet. I will not attend
poetry readings or open mics. Also
do not snailmail or email me your
poetry because I will simply not
read it. After years and years of
indulging in this stupidity, I have
finally come to the realization that
it's a worthless art, and whole-
heartedly urge you to give up the
folly yourselves. But, if you insist
on carrying on with your delusions
of grandeur, include me out! Here's
hoping you find some other profession
to pursue (not that poetry was ever
really a profession). Good luck,
you talentless knuckleheads.

Signed,
Karl Kaput, MFA