Shapesmoke Swoon of Avalon

Angie Dickinson, police woman,
slaps Frankie Avalon to get the truth
out of the snot-nosed teen idol.

None of this surf shit, she yells
in his face and knees him
in the nuts.

He played Annette Funicello like a cello
on the beach until a snitch
revealed that she was underage.

These stinking cops don’t care about love,
he muttered, look at ‘em, they’re all divorced,
they take out their anger on speeders.

They don’t want the facts.
Finally, Frankie’s gone to the Hollywood sign
and painted it black.

Angie has confiscated his pants for a ride,
Annette breaks down and cries.
At this rate, no one will discover fate.