G .I. O. J.

War Is Over

“O.J. Simpson is the greatest
peace-maker of our times.”

John Lennon

With the Iraq war spiraling out of control,
costing more and more American lives
(only American lives have any value,
of course) anyway, with the war dragging
on and on, old Dubya finally had to admit
that he and his cronies could not win the
war, they decided that it was time to call
in the only man on earth who could find
a solution. Yes, you guessed it! O.J. Simpson.
War hero, our savior. The very incarnation
of every fucking God ever dreamed up
by squirming mankind. In just a matter of days
O.J. restored order to the worn torn
country and brought peace to earth. His
mastery at finding a solution astounded
the solar system. Even the Mars rovers
stood up, pointed their antennas our way,
and said, huh? O.J. was welcomed back
home to New York City with a ticker tape
parade.We can never re-pay him. Every
son of a bitch in America is indebted to him.