Dirt Farmer
My father was a dirt farmer,
that’s more than I can say for me.
He plowed the earth over and over,
planted the seeds
he was denied in paradise.
Fought weeds tooth and nail.
From sun up to sun down
he was out there in the fields.
When he got home,
he turned a tub of water into mud.
Burned to a crisp
by the sun during the day,
cajoled by the moon at night.
Stumps and stones to no avail,
my father was a dirt farmer.
posted by RC @ 12:25 AM
4 Comments:
I liked this poem for much the same reason I liked 'Macias Mexican Bakery' although I think the first poem is the better. The most powerful and effective line in 'Dirt Farmer' is "that’s more than I can say for me." The narrator is holding up a dirt farmer, the lowest of the low, as if that was a something! That says everything. That said I think the layout. I've taken the liberty of reformatting the piece to emphasise the second and last lines. I think the final line deserves a stanza to itself; the line should be read with a degree of pride. I tried 2/4/4/4/1 but I think this is cleaner. See what you think.
My father was a dirt farmer;
that’s more than I can say for me.
He ploughed the earth over and over,
planted the seeds
he was denied in paradise,
fought weeds tooth and nail.
From sun up to sun down
he was out there in the fields.
When he got home
he turned a tub of water into mud.
Burned to a crisp
by the sun during the day,
cajoled by the moon at night,
stumps and stones to no avail,
my father was a dirt farmer.
Thanks,Jim.Yes,I like the way you formatted my poem.But the consistency of the three lines of each and every poem I write is what lets me be able to write in a hurry.Only the subject matter changes,I do not have to worry about form,or architecture.Three lines and it's a done deal.Now,whether the poem is good or not is really beyond my control.And for that matter,beyond the control of any poet.Thanks,again.
Obviously the choice is yours (about thirty years ago I held a similar view) but for the five minutes I took looking at the shape of your poem I'm a little puzzled that you ignore the layout of your poems; frankly the shape just jumped out at me. As for whether a poem is good or not I have to disagree that we poets have no control. What we have to work with changes and we can only do so much with it – in that respect we are only conduits for the information – but we do (or should) have control over the choice of works AND their arrangement on the page.
Every time I write a poem I simply dump the words on the page in whatever way looks natural, sometimes not even that, and then I consider the underlying rhythm of the piece and there usually is one. Your approach may suit you, the writer, but the question you might like to consider is whether your presentation improves your reader's experience. I'm all for simplicity – it puzzles the hell out of me why some poets arrange their work the way they do – but I think it's something worth a second look.
Thanks,Jim.I suspect (and this is only a suspicion)that most readers of poems are used to the idiosyncracies of poets and will compensate for them in adjusting their reading style or just go away and not read.Yes,that is the poet's loss.I know I adjust a stanza or two while reading others poetry.But then, not to many poets win poetry prizes because of their arrangements of words on the page.Not that my poetry comes anywhere that of good poetry.Again JIm,I appreciate your thoughtful comments.
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