The Philadelphia Experiment

“Hi, I’m Phil, and this is my story.”

I want to got to Wal-Mart,
but I am afraid of the roadside bombs along the way,

I do not trust Iraqi children,
I am afraid of the old, toothless Iraqi woman,

I want to go buy a new mp3 player at Best Buy,
but I am afraid Al-Sadr’s militia will attack me,

I want to ogle scantily clad girls at the mall,
but when I get there, they are covered from head to toe

in black dresses, their eyes barely visible
behind their headgear,

I want to go to Wal-Mart,
but I am afraid of the roadside bombs,

I am afraid we have re-created
Frankenstein’s monster right here in Pennsylvania.