Honest Old Abe

I thought I saw Honest Old Abe
wandering the streets of Washington D.C.,
“The slaves don’t appear to be free,

they look worst off then they did back when.
Looks like the Confederacy won the war,
Johnny Reb, Robert E. Lee galore.”

He found his own memorial,
he talked to Thomas Jefferson,
the Washington Monument was deaf and dumb.

He listened to the Congressmen talk,
he listened to the Senators rave,
he thought, “These cowards are so brave!”

I thought I saw Honest Old Abe
wandering the streets of Washington D.C. already lame.
He pulled off his stove-top hat in shame,

heart-broken, sick to his stomach, embarrassed.
He tried not to think of the current Administration.
What, oh dear God, what has become of my nation?


Part Two:

When Lilacs Last In The Dooryard Bloomed

When lilacs last in the dooryard bloomed,
he walked up to the present President and said,
“What the hell is going on in your head?”

Honest Old Abe never minced his words
and he always came right to the point,
“Today’s politicians only grunt and oink,

they think they can correct the world’s wrongs
and ignore the ills of the nation
relying on a future fix from re-incarnation

and they’re not even Hindus!”
Honest Old Abe toured the capital,
listening to the crap and bull.

He decided the country wasn’t worth the bother,
so he kept on walking out of town,
leaving the silly nation in the hands of the White House clown.