How To Screw Ann Coulter, If You Must

Use hundred dollar bills
stolen from the school lunch program,
use dead Marines killed in senseless wars,

screw her in the backseat
of Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s wheelchair
while playing with her fascist hair.

But never turn your back on her,
she’s a blonde praying mantis
and she eats liberals so they can’t vote.

She’s a blonde praying mantis,
better keep your pants on.
Screw her at your own risk

or you’ll end up
slicing your wrists
until the blood of democracy is just a mist.