Purse Snatcher

Sobaco once tried to make a living
as a petty thief
hung around Westside grocery store parking lots
snatched purses from old ladies
but with his fat ass he ran a few steps
and collapsed to the ground
out of breath and sweating
like the San Antonio River

sometimes the old ladies giggled at him
sometimes they threw him a dollar or two
but they never called the cops
bystanders just scratched their heads
and went about their business

sometimes a life of crime
can't even get you time

La Panocha De JLo

Andres Sobaco alias el Numbnuts
hates the way people talk
about JLo's nalgas
as if her culo is more important
than her panocha
the way her lips rub against each other
the way they part for love

nalgas only drag you down
says Sobaco to no one in particular
as he raves about JLo's pussy
as if it was a work of art
God's greatest creation ever
he mumbles to himself

and God just shakes his head in disbelief

Mundo Mundo

The wonders of the world
seemed to have passed Sobaco by
and Sobaco never even batted
one of his fat-assed eyebrows
and though beauty was more than nalgas
you couldn't tell him that

at the dance he was always looking
for the devil with rooster feet
instead of the cumbia beat

el panzon sucked down a beer
thinking the future was near
he asked a girl to dance
and she said "euuwww!"
so he cumbiad by himself
his sweaty armpits rubbed against the world
and the world curled up in a ball