Total Eclipse Of The Sun

The eclipse failed to cover up
Sobaco's big fat ass
he made fun
of the moon and sun
the total eclipse of his buns
had failed to materialize
maybe if Uranus
came between earth and sun
Sobaco laughed
and pulled up
his size 52 pants
the sunburn on his cheeks
lasted for weeks
photos of his partially eclipsed ass
turned up on Facebook
Google maps paused over the Westside
Sobaco flat on his belly
in his weed-infested backyard
could be clearly seen from space
his big naked ass
reflecting sunlight like glass

Asleep Inside An Old Guitar

Andres Sobaco el Numbnuts was too fat
to sleep inside an old guitar
even a grand piano would be a tight fit
the guitar crushed and splintered
the piano strings hit his fat face
a cut above the left eye
a musical bruise on his belly
the keys that open nothing
in this black and white world
no room for the color brown

in the morning the piano
lies on the floor flat as paper
the only music is Sobaco's snore
a Mozart fart Beethoven cloven
godforsaken music in arears