Sombreron

All the girls would say
that el ocho patas

had Bette Davis eyes
they swooned

out of his spoon
and longed for his caldo

cherished his tamales
even if they found

his barba hair
in the enchanted air

he would ease them
and just please them

he had Bette Davis eyes
and all the girls would sigh

in their giddy Greta Garbo
garb

and el ocho patas would hide from them
underneath his sombreron

Cantina Blues

El ocho patas
went into a bar

although he himself
called it a cantina

he drank eight whiskies
with his feet

the bartender
told his stories

all about people
with two feet

the prostitute
of ripe repute

a boxer
who was lost outside the ring

local punks
with losing spunk

a teenage girl with curls
who walked by the bar's tinted windows

el ocho patas looked up from his drink and said
I know that girl

Quetzalcoatl's Patas

El ocho patas
often thought of himself as Quetzalcoatl

he of the few feathers
but longing of such huaraches

he tried to lead his raza
into the future

but they clung to the past
stuck in reverse

or what was worse
not moving at all

tiesos as if frozen---
so el ocho patas

shook his head que no
and flew on ahead

his feathered feet
was all his raza ever saw of him

as they sank
and stank

with only themselves
to thank

Inadvertent Selena

And the three men
el ocho patas admired most

he, himself
and el mis mo

caught a tren
for you know when

he met a girl
who would be killed

by an ugly ugly vieja
but the girl's music lived on

and on
all the way to el japon

otherwise el ocho
thought only of his patas

and those two other vatos
I already mentioned

so he went about his business
as if nothing was negotiable

porque las cosas
son muy sabrosas

menos las esposas
hey, don't quote me

el ocho patas
can say the meanest things

though never about himself
si no fuera por sus tantas patas

they wouldn't let him in the room
bidi bidi boom boom

Huevones Rancheros

with apologies to Anthony The Poet

El ocho patas
was bad to the bone

era muy
cabrone

always told
the people

only huevones
eat huevos rancheros

his ancestors
ate flies

huevos de mosca
to be more correct

let cowboys
choke on huevos rancheros

his ancestors
ate chapulines

huevos rancheros
ain't got nothing on them

have you ever see huevos rancheros
jump off a plate

el ocho patas
was bad to the bone

he'd rather yank out
four of his patas

then eat huevos rancheros
con gueros

or sit down with raza
now that would be peor

I told you and told you
el ocho patas was bad to the bone

Look Ma No Hands

El ocho patas
ate with his feet

since he had
no hands

go ahead
laugh if you want

make fun
of him

his ocho patas
all muddied with food

refried beans
if you must know

you ask
why don't you eat flies

like a good
little spider

but el ocho patas
thinks he's human

so much
unlike you